Unforgiveness and the related anger brings a sense of power, it masks the feeling of powerlessness when I've been hurt. When the anger breaks down (humility), the floodgates of sorrow open and flow out. Only then can the forgiveness come in. The pain comes before the peace, a price we are not always willing to pay.
As the pain floods behind a wall of anger, perhaps the pain is more intense because I let it build up back there. I build that wall of anger, rather than turning to Lord and allowing myself to sorrow in Him. Instead of peace like a river, I have the pain and loss of a broken dam.
Father, let me allow the pain of my heart run out, all of it. Do not let me wall it back up in a false self-protection. Let me trust that in time the waves will subside, and in Thee through Christ Jesus, I will again flow instead of fight.
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