Peace like a river

Unforgiveness and the related anger brings a sense of power, it masks the feeling of powerlessness when I've been hurt. When the anger breaks down (humility), the floodgates of sorrow open and flow out.  Only then can the forgiveness come in.  The pain comes before the peace, a price we are not always willing to pay.

As the pain floods behind a wall of anger, perhaps the pain is more intense because I let it build up back there.  I build that wall of anger, rather than turning to Lord and allowing myself to sorrow in Him.  Instead of peace like a river, I have the pain and loss of a broken dam.

Father, let me allow the pain of my heart run out, all of it.  Do not let me wall it back up in a false self-protection.  Let me trust that in time the waves will subside, and in Thee through Christ Jesus, I will again flow instead of fight.

I'm in Trouble

I'm in the doghouse tonight because I totally messed up the plan for today and created chaos. I have no time, but I went to read:

Prov. 15: 1

1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

I'm feeling mad instead of humble, even though I know it was my own fault. More Proverbs 15:

"A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife." (although I'm secretly using this to justify why it's not my problem, but a certain other person's.)

ALSO:

• He that regardeth reproof is prudent
• The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise.
• He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding
• The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

Humility is in order.